The Brutal Beauty: the story behind Cashmere, District 1
by wildflower1919
Summary: In District 1 Cashmere was famous, she was apart of the Mercer family, also known as the Family of Victors. She was beautiful, yet brutal, she could fight. It was her games, and everyone knew it. She knew her fate, she was going to win the 64th Hunger games. But everything changed when she met Dixon, he was her everything. she knew she found the one. To bad one of them had to die
1. Chapter 1

As I made my way to the stage, the look on Lavender Dillywood's face was pure excitement. She was district 1's escort, and anyone who knew my family would understand her excitement. A member of my family has been in the games consecutively for the last 5 years. We were even before that, but ever since the 50th quarter quell when my oldest sister whom I never met lost to Haymitch Abernathy. Which was a huge surprise, since he was from District 12; one of the poorer districts, and had absolutely no chance of winning. Well he beat the odds for sure, but now I have a dead sister I never met. My family decided to mourn her death and call it quits for a couple years. It took 9 years for the mercer family to get back in the games. So far they have all won, and now it's my turn. I am actually glad I was picked, I was going to volunteer anyone, the whole family has talked about it, I am ready, and have a better chance this year then my twin brother does. He needs more time to train. Which is surprising, since he's a guy and all.

"Isn't it just terrific, another Mercer!" Lavender yells into her microphone, her voice is just aggravating, and very unpleasant. Knowing I will be stuck with her for the next few weeks is what scares me the most not the games.

"Well I very sure everyone knows you are darling, but please say your name either way" Lavender says. She has such an odd way of speaking, her grammar is terrible, and at times she makes very little since.

"Cashmere Mercer" I say, loudly and proudly. I look up at the crowd and try to find Gloss, he is in the section where they keep all the 13-16 year old boys. We are both 14, but we turn 15 on may 19, in exactly 10 days. I will be in the arena on my 15th birthday.

I finally find my Gloss he is staring at me, I can see it in his eyes, he's scared for me. Even if he knew this was going to happen either way "I'm a mercer, I'll be okay." I mouthed to him. "I know" he mouthed back. Gloss is my twin brother, he's my built in best friend, he's my life, and he's all I have had since our mother died. Sure I have other siblings but ever since she died I've only noticed Gloss. My Gloss. As I start to come back from my thoughts, I realize Lavender has wasted little time.

"Boy time for the tribute" she shouts. Gosh her grammar is already annoying me. She picks the name out of the huge bowl and steps to the microphone. Please don't be Gloss, please don't be Gloss, please please please. That wasn't in the plan, and It wasn't. A little boy around 12 makes his way up to the stage. He looks little and scared beyond belief. As he walks up he starts sucking on his thumb and staring at the ground. I soon realize that his name is Orville Diamond, his name is so unique but not common for district 1, usually it would be the other way around. I start to drift off, thinking of all the crazy names of all my siblings, most of them were a bit off the wall, but others not so much. There was Scarlet, Opal, Dean, Hollis, Cyprus, Lennox, and of course Gloss and I. Okay guess we all have pretty odd- All of a sudden I'm stopped mid thought, to two words. "I volunteer". Those words frighten me more than I thought they would, only because I'm afraid that those words are coming for Gloss. Even apart of me knows it isn't him, he cares for me as much as I care for him, he would never do that do both of us. I scan the crowd, and there he is standing with the other boys, scared out of his mind. of course, even if he has nothing to worry about, he has always been the worrying type. I have always been the tough one out of the two of us. I was also the older one. This means, 1. I have major bragging rights, and 2. I'm the boss.

I scan the crowd again look for the volunteer, and there he was making his way to the stage. As I see him my mouth almost drops. It's Dixon Fanly, the son of a victor who won the games around the time of my father's games, maybe even consecutively. He was a tall young man around 6'0, he was strong, and quite attractive. As I began to think of his looks, and his family and how nice the guy really is for volunteering for a young little boy, I become very terrified. What if I don't win, this guy has it all. "Get your act together Cash" I think to myself. "You are Cashmere Mercer, the brutal beauty, you will win" and from there I stand straight and look forward. When it is time to shake Dixons hand, I turn to him and give him a very stern look. He looks at me like I'm crazy, I just roll my eyes. "I'm in it to win it" I mouth to him, he mouths back "I know." What? I say in my mind if he knew why the heck did he volunteer, does he not get he is now my biggest competition?! I become frustrated with the whole situation and almost storm off into the building behind us when Lavender grabs are hands, holds them up in the air, and right as she is about to speak the mayor grabs the microphone and says "I present to you the District 1 tributes of the 64th hunger games!" he says proudly. He must be tired of her grammatical errors as well. As we walk in, and they start leading us into the rooms where we meet our family, I start to give myself a pep talk quietly. "You are Cashmere Mercer, you are brutal, you are beautiful, and you will be the winner of the 64th Hunger Games." As I start to walk up the stairs I hear something behind me. "yes your Cashmere Mercer, yes your Brutal, yes your Beautiful, and I promise you that I will give all that I have to make sure you win the 64th hunger games" at first I thought it was Dean, my older brother and also one of my mentor, but his voice was never that assuring. I turn around and standing right behind me with a huge grin on his face is Dixon Fanly, the other District 1 tribute.


	2. Chapter 2

I looked at him and rolled my eyes. As the peacekeepers started leading us to our rooms, he just stared at me like he was going to eat me. It started to aggravate me, I don't think I can deal with that for a week and then on top of that as long as he lasts in the games. He is a career, he's relatively strong, and oh so good looking. He will last. Unless I talk him out of being a career. I start thinking up a few ideas until I just can't take it anymore.

I finally spoke up and said "Gosh you look at me like I'm a cupcake and you just so happen to be starving, like seriously stop." It was obvious I sounded annoyed.

"You're too pretty to be a cupcake, you're more like a sculpture, classically beautiful" he said with a huge smirk on his face.

I rolled my eyes and frowned at him, his friendliness is disgusting, doesn't he understand there is a possibility he will be dead in a month? My mind starts to travel to different things, such as my strategy. I have a few ideas that I will talk over with Dean and Opal when I get into the train. My father walks in, interrupting my thoughts. He smiles at me with his smile, warm and welcoming.

I run to him, and give him a huge hug. "I'm doing it Papa, I'm on track to win" my voice is bold, but you can still here the fear.

"You are so Brave Cashy, I love you so much" he says. Other then Gloss my father is my support system; lately we have been able to connect because of the games. Ever since my mother died, the games have been how our family has dealt. They have been our outlet.

"Mama would have been so proud"

I start to talk then I stop. Just the thought of her upsets me, she never liked the games. She thought they were evil and once my older sister died she couldn't even imagine dealing with another of her kids death, so she said no more games as long as she was alive. She died the January before the 59th hunger games. That was Dean's year, he volunteered unexpectedly and at first our father was very upset.

Until he won of course, it was so obvious Dean was going to win, he was Dean. He was a Mercer, so of course he had the looks to get more sponsors. Believe it or not, but the better looking you are the more the Capitol people root for you. He was also very fit, he still is. And of course he was a Career, since he came from district 1.

"You know how she felt about the games Papa" I finally said into his ear. We were still embracing. I knew our time was running out. I was trying to cherish every last minute I had with him, but a part of me knew this wasn't going to be the last time.

He let go of me and took me by the shoulders. I can tell he could see that tears starting to swell in my eyes. I fought it as much as I could, because I don't cry. I am Cashmere Mercer, I'm brutal but beautiful. I say over and over again in my mind.

"I just hate how much I knew she hated the games, I feel like I'm betraying her." I said, my tears starting to dry out.

"She hated them because Scarlet died, if she would have won it would have been different Cashy. "

"What if I die?" I ask. Talking about my sister's death and my mother just makes me feel vulnerable. A feeling I never ever feel.

"Oh Cashy you will not die, remember who you are!' he practically shouts. Then he continues. "Oh and Dixon, as long as he is with you; you're not dying." He said

I start to smile finally, then I start analyze what he just said. When a peacekeeper walks in to tell us times up, my father is friends with every peacekeeper in District 1, so we had more time than usual. But they have to come it eventually.

"What did you just say?!" I say, I sound mad, probably because I am.

"Talk to him about it" he said as he walked out "I love you" he continued then was gone. He was gone, I couldn't get answers, and he was gone. Why did he do that to me? Why did he leave me with such a huge question mark in my brain that just makes me even more frustrated then I already am.

I pace back and forth as I wait for the next person to walk in. I know I wouldn't have many visitors. Maybe just 1 more and that would be Gloss, he had promised me he would come. Even if he was sure I was coming back. Everyone was so sure that I was coming back. In district 1 I was already there victor, even before I was reaped, it was well known that this was the year that 14 almost 15 year old Cashmere Mercer would volunteer. It was such a coincidence that I was reaped.

Suddenly some strange man walked in and that made me completely confused. He looked familiar, but I couldn't figure out who he was. At soon as the door opened I was so sure that it would be Gloss coming to comfort me and reassure me that I am Cashmere Mercer the Victor of the 64th Hunger games. But I was wrong. I was very wrong.

I was sitting down on the shiny silver couch, and he sat next to me. I looked at him confused and said "Do I know you?"

He laughed and smiled, then said "Well you should sweetie, I've been your neighbor your whole life" he paused and his smile faded. "I'm Dixons father" he said. Oh yeah, it all clicked. Dixon was the child of another Victor, who happened to be our neighbor in the Victor village and also my father's best friend.

He had some crazy name, spooky. No that's not it. "Sparky" I said. He nodded. "Umm Dixon is across the hall sir." I was quite confused. Why was he even here? I have had enough of Dixon to last me my whole entire life.

He laughed "Your father warned me that you are a pistol" he said "But I'm actually here to see you dear" he paused to collect his words and continued.

"What I am about to tell you is going to shock you, so brace yourself Cashmere. Okay?"

"Nothing shocks me, but Okay, shoot" I said.

He was right, I was completely shocked. The words that came out of his mouth short of soothed me but at the same exact time, they really pissed me off.

"he wants to what?!" I practically shouted "he must be misunderstood, I am perfectly capable of saving myself, and I don't need his help or anyone else's help to be exact." But I was wrong, extremely wrong.

My voice sounded raspy, like I have been yelling a lot lately. And to be honest I have been. Everyone has been trying to tell me what to do and how I have been dealing with the pressure to be perfect I going to the very edge of district 1, finding a high mountain and screaming my head off.

"That's what we all have told him Cashmere, but he's hard headed dear, very" he said very calmly. "He's just like his mother." You can tell the word mother were hard words for him to say. Sparky and my father weren't just neighbors, and fellow victors. They were both the husbands of the 2 women killed in a fire brought on by apparently a couple of kids. But we all know it was 2 peacekeepers messing around.

"Please let him, it's all I ask from you dear, at least let him try" he continued. "It's his dying wish" you can see the worry in his face. I start to realize that there is more to this situation then I think. Dixon is dying, I thought. And it wasn't just because there's a chance another tribute from a different district will shoot him in the heart with a bow and arrow. It was something way bigger and way worse than that. I just felt it.

"His dying wish?" I finally asked, my voice sounds weak.

His face turned pale, for a man with porcelain skin I didn't think he could turn any paler. He can tell I know something is up. I may be making it obvious, because this is the saddest and most worried I have looked all day. At least the saddest he has seen me.

"Oh" he said, like he said something he shouldn't have said. I know he did. "I mean you both have a huge chance of dying dear, and he has already promised it won't be you" he frowned at me and in just a second or so he turned hi s frown into a huge cheesy smile. "My Dixon never breaks a promise dear" even while he was smiling I could tell there was something up. I can read people; most see that as a gift but don't be fooled. When you read people you start to feel what they feel, and I can't afford to feel sad, at least not in a life or death situation. So I pick myself up and try to ignore the situation, but it doesn't exactly work.

I have never been good with sick people, at least not the ones who can't help being sick. Not the ones losing their own battle. Just the thought of sick people starts to upset me more. So I begin to think of something that makes me happy, like cows and turtles. They are just both so adorable.

Before I could think of something to say or ask, a peace keeper walks in and says times up. Sparky, Dixons father walks up and right as he is about to walk out he says one last think to me.

"One last thing dear" he said and continued as soon as I nodded my head "please promise me you won't fall in love" he paused for a second to reorganize his thoughts, and then said "just not in the games, not with my Dixon." His face seemed sincere but just him even thinking those thoughts and saying those words, made me want to fly right through the roof and blow up into a million pieces. I am done being sad, now I'm just mad.

I screamed back "and why the hell would I do that?" I can feel that my light skin was turning red, my heart started beating really fast as he replied "just promise me, okay? " His voice was so gentle and smooth, it almost sounded like he understood. It felt like he understood everything that I was going through. For a second I felt like I just wasn't alone in this situation. That it was Sparky and I against the world, flying high in the sky above the clouds. Until I finally landed back on earth and realized how creepy that actually sounded.

My mind was wondering as he spoke the last words I would hear from Dixons father in a while.

"please just say okay!" he basically shouted, his eyes started tearing up, this whole situation felt as if it was way more dear to his heart then he made it out to be. Dixon was sick, or something in that matter; and I will find out the truth.

Great I said to myself, one more thing to worry about.

I didn't want to speak, there were so many emotions floating around all throughout my body. When I feel things, I just don't feel them in my heart, but I feel them everywhere. Sparky was waiting in the doorway for my response. The peacekeeper was just waiting for him to be done. I am so sure he was friends with the peacekeepers too, so they were lenient on him as well.

It took me a second but got up to courage to speak again.

"Okay." I said, my voice sounded weak though, something that I had to work on, with everything that is going on, feeling weak is the last thing I need.

He walked out and slammed the door. He seemed so upset, like him saying the last few words that he did brought up the weaker side in him. And for the first time in a while my insides started twisting and turning. This used to happen a lot after my mother died, at least until Dean volunteered. I started putting all my energy into training for the games when Dean won and all the twisting and turning went away. I was unbreakable until now.

I paced back in forth until I finally just fell to the floor. I started to cry. I thought I was ready but I am not, I am not ready for this. I am too young to die; even my brutal but beautiful catch phrase couldn't help me, not even now. Nothing could help me I thought. Just when I was about to completely fall apart, he walked in.


	3. Chapter 3

"Cashmere" I hear, just as soon as I hear that voice my insides start to come together again. That strong, familiar voice, a voice that will never leave me, one that will always be a part of me.

Gloss' voice.

I look up and I see him, standing right in front of me, looking quite confused. As I look at him, and he looks at me, my whole body is quickly sewing back together. I am regaining confidence just staring at him, as I start to wonder what will happen when he speaks, he speaks.

"I promised I would come" he says.

As soon as he says those few simple words, I begin to cry.

"What is wrong?" he asks.

"I am happy to see you" I say, he looks at my confused and I hear him in my mind.

_"Then why are you crying"_

It's funny because he didn't say that, but he didn't have to. I knew that is what he was thinking.

"Happy tears" I explain

"Dang" he mutters "I just wish you were this excited to see me all the time, that way I wouldn't have as many bruises"

"Oh shut up" I laugh.

His presence calms me, he reminds me so much of our mother. His face, his eyes, his attitude towards life, everything that he is, is her. He might even be a little better.

As I stare at his face, I start to notice his huge smile drift away.

"Cash I know you're worried by the way you look at me, you haven't stared at me that much since mom died" his voice sounds small, hurt, but calm.

I hate how he can do that, stay calm when everything seems to be going wrong. Well I don't hate it, I love it, and I just wish I could have been passed down that trait as well. He gets it from our Mother, and I sadly am nothing like my mother, I'm like neither of my parents or anyone else in my family to be exact.

Well no one that is living, my father tells me I remind him of his great grandmother who apparently was something else. She had an attitude, and she carried herself in a way that no one else did. Constantly had her guard up, only taking it down for the few people who she loved, I am exactly like that.

"I am fine" I was lying, and from the look on his face he was well aware that I was lying.

He moves towards me and sits right next to me, grabbing my hand and putting it in his.

"Cashmere Mercer, you're not fine" he starts, he takes a quick pause and continues after a few seconds. "You are my twin sister, fraternal twin since you know I'm the good looking one and all" it was obvious that he was joking by the way he said it.

I laugh, and with my hand that he isn't holding, I hit him in the shoulder.

"Ouch" he laughs as well, then he continues on speaking, typical Gloss.

"It's called twin telepathy, my dear sister I know what you are thinking at this very second"

"Oh you do?" I ask

"You are scared" he says, his smile fades "confused, alone" he pauses one last time "and you will miss me terribly" his smile returns as giddy as ever.

He is right, and just as I begin to tell him that, a peacekeeper walks in, signaling at the clock. Gloss, unlike my father and Sparky

Gloss stands up, pulling me with him, "My dear sister, you are so strong, so independent, so smart, so brutal and so beautiful, and I love you so much" he has a huge confident smile on his face. He gives me a huge hug, as he is about to walk out the door, he says something that changes me.

"But please don't deny help when it's offered, sometimes you need put your guard down, let go, and just trust. Trust him" he says with one last smile, and he walks out. The door closing right behind him.

Oh Gloss, I think. I love that kid, to the moon and back. He's the only person who I can fully trust, and he knows that. Why does he think I can trust Dixon? And why does he want me to?

I know that is what he was meaning when he said trust him. I know my brother, he calls it Twin telepathy, I just say it's because a part of my soul resides in him. Not in a romantic way, not at all, but in a way only we can understand. I know that a part of his soul resides in me. When he hurts, I hurt, and when I hurt, he hurts. Right now he is in as much as pain ass I am, maybe even more.

Just as I began to finally sit down, a peacekeeper walks in and guides me to the train. As I walk into the train, and into the main living quarters, I begin to take in my surroundings. I see Opal and Dean; our mentors, Lavender; the district 1 escort, Dixon; the other district 1 tribute, and an unfamiliar face sticking a needle in Dixon's arm.

My usual reaction would be to ignore it and sit next to Opal, but I haven't been myself, since Dixon came into my life.

I walk towards him slowly, catching his eyes along the way. I am so mesmerized by him, and what is being put into him, that I don't even notice when Opal grabs me and pulls me into the nearest door. Which in our case, happens to be the kitchen.

It took me a while to speak but eventually I did, "what is happening to him?" I ask, concerned.

Just as soon as I said that, I realize, that what Gloss told me really affected me. It's as if Gloss is thinking for me, but he isn't. This is all you Cashmere, I say to myself.

Just as soon as she begins to speak, I interrupt her. "Oh my gosh" I practically scream. "What is wrong with me, I have become soft"

She laughs, "Nothing is wrong with him" but as soon as she says that, I know she is lying.

She sighs, and quickly comes up with an excuse of why some lady in a white outfit is giving him a shot.

"He has" she pauses "umm diabetes." Which is a very lame excuse, Diabetes existed in the past world, but in Panem it's rare. Very Rare. Scientists have been able to come up with a cure for almost every disease known to mankind. Since District one, is one of the wealthier Districts, and we are closer to the Capital then most Districts we sort of have a good handle on all the different medicines.

There are only a few diseases that Capital medicine can't cure. I don't exactly remember them all, but I know that all of them are very rough.

"You're lying" I say as I begin to storm out of the kitchen and back into the living quarters. Just as quick as the old Cashmere starts to come back, the new one takes over as soon as I see Dixon sitting down, on the couch watching the rest of the reaping's.

It takes a while to conceal all my emotions, and a lot of standing in one spot, but eventually I start to move my legs and take a spot on the other side of the couch.

"Anyone we should be afraid of?" I ask.

He smiles, and laughs a little bit. Oh his smile is beautiful, I have known Dixon since I was a baby, he is about 2 years older than I am. We were friends until our mothers died, I isolated myself from the world while he did the opposite. Other than that, I know nothing about him really, other than his beauty of course. The boy if beautiful, I didn't even think boys can be beautiful, but this one is. He has light brown hair, it is longer but not long enough to be considered long, his skin is a beautiful tan color, he's quite tall, and to top it all off his eyes are blue, the color of the ocean blue.

I am not really sure if I like thinking about him this way, or why I am even thinking about him this way. It frightens me, I know that one of us is going to die. I also know that there is possibility that one of us is in the process of dying at this exact moment, but I am not sure about that anymore. He looks great, not sick at all.

My mind wanders back to being frightened, but just as soon as I am beginning to make my mind up and stay frightened until we get to the capital, he speaks. This time his voice is smooth and melts slowly into my ears.

"We?" he asks confused, but with a huge joking smile on his face. "For a while I was more than sure that you were going to abandon me."

Just as he says that Opal and Dean Walks in, Opal is 20 and Dean is 22, both have great physiques and are both beautiful. They try to hide it, but they are as close as Gloss and I, they act as if they hate each other. In reality, they know that no matter what they are going to have each other's backs.

"Umm yeah about that" Dean says, and looks at Opal.

"No one is abandoning anyone" she says. Yeah they even finish each other's sentences like Gloss and I sometimes, I am not sure if it counts if they have to remind each other, but hey at least they do it.

"We are aware that sometimes careers do abandon each other and go on their own path, but this year that is not happening." Dean sounds sort of rough, and I know that, that isn't meant for Dixon, it's meant for me.

I stare at the large television screen focusing on the reaping's, they already passed District 1, 2, 3. They are now showing District 4. They call up a girl named Ebony Wood and soon after that a boy around the same age named Ebon Wood. Twins, I can tell by the similarities.

In the back ground there is an older lady running up the path they make for those who volunteer, she is screaming. Peacekeepers grab her and hold her back, she looked like a lion trying to break free from a cage.

Eventually, she just gave up and broke down. Another man came and picked her up, and he took her away, far away.

Twins, I repeat in my mind, they have to be Twins.

I can't imagine the feeling, having to be in the games with your other half, the person you shared a wound with. The one person who knows you best, the person who holds half your soul. Gloss, I start to think of Gloss.

Tears start to roll down my eyes, as Dixon points to the screen and says "I want them as allies"

"WE want them as allies" I say.

He looks at me, smiles and mouths, "I understand."

I doubt he does, but knowing that he just simply cares in the smallest way like that makes my heart happy, beyond happy.

"We can talk about allies after Supper, now go find your rooms and clean up" Opal Says.

"Are you implying that we are dirty?" I ask, with a smart tone in my voice. "Because if so that is quite rude of you" I laugh, so does everyone else in the room, except Opal though, she just looks annoyed.

"Yes I am."

She sighs and rolls her eyes.

"I am glad you're feeling better Cash" she says, giving a small not-so-meaningful smile, then walks away.

Just as soon as she says that, my insides start to tear apart once again.

Curse you Opal.

We walk through the door and down the hall to our rooms that have our names on the doors. Everything around me feels large, I pause and feel like the walls are caving in on me.

Funny how I pause right in front of the door that reads "Cashmere Mercer" with big bold Red Letters.

As I conceal myself, I realize I probably have to deal with this anxiety as long as I know that my chances of dying are 1 in 24.

The games are just that, games. As long as I play well I can win. I tell myself that over and over. I notice that my eyes are closed, I open them and look to my left just in time.

Dixon, who is also paused in front of his door, takes a few steps towards me. He leans in, then whispers in my ear, "I will never abandon you, I promise." He squeezes my hand, walks back to his room, opens his door, and closes it.

I am shocked, but I still manage to do the same. I stand in my room for a minute or so, before I collapse to the door and break down in tears.

My mind wonders back to his dad, and the words that came out of his mouth just a few hours ago.

"My Dixon never breaks a promise dear."


	4. Chapter 4

_Cashmere they want you to break, don't let them win. _

It was Gloss, it's crazy how Twin Telepathy works. Only when it's needed. It never works on something simple, like if I wanted a glass of water, or if I wanted anything, only if I needed something.

Right now I needed support, I needed the one person I trusted more than anything. I just received that, no it wasn't a hug or a long pep talk, but it was something. That is what matters.

I repeat the small phrase over and over in my head, like a broken record. I even imagine it in Gloss' voice.

_Cashmere they want you to break, don't let them win._

He is right, they want me to break down, and they want me to lose it, too bad I'm unbreakable.

"Cashmere!" it's Opal.

"Dang it", I say under my breath. It is supper time, "I'll be right there!" I scream back, pretending to be ready, but in reality I'm far from it.

Supper is no occasion to get ready normally, but since we are on our way to the capital and by the time we are done eating we will be in the capital, it is very important to look your best. Opal has told me that this is probably one of the most important events. Arriving in the Capital, if you're lucky enough to get the Capital people's attention, they may sponsor you.

That is very important. The more sponsors, the better chance of surviving you have.

I quickly get up, since I have been on the ground for approximately 1 hour or so. I grab what was laid out for me and go in the bathroom.

I look in the mirror, my hair is blonde, my eyes are blue, and I'm slim. Everyone I know tells me I'm beautiful but I don't see it.

Who are you? I say out loud.

Before I can even think of answering I hear a small quiet knock on my door. I look down at myself, and realize I'm not even dressed. So I put on the dress that was laid out for me and walk to the door.

I know it can't be Opal or Dean, since they don't knock like that. If it was one of them knocking, the whole train would shake.

It has to be some type of maid, or someone who works for the capital.

"Whoever you are, you're going to have to sip up my dress!" I scream,

"Sounds like a deal to me" they say, there voice sounds sweet, and sympathetic. I know that voice.

Without any hesitation I open the door, I need answers, I need reassurance, I need him.

"Umm hey" I say, my voice sounds as small as his did, no sympathy though, just pure shyness. Honestly, I feel like slamming the door in his face.

In fact, I think I will. I grab the handle and just as I start to shut the door he puts his whole body in between the door frame and myself.

We are so close, so close. This is the first time I've been this close to an actual guy other than my family in my life.

Cashmere don't you dare look up, don't look up. I look up.

In that exact moment I realized how tall he actually is, and how small I am.

I knew I was small, but I didn't realize that I was that small. I always see myself as someone larger then I am, I always have. I feel as if my body can't tell me what I can and cannot do. My mother used to say that I was brave. For a while, practically my whole life I believed her but it's at this moment that I feel as if I'm the exact opposite.

I am vulnerable in his presence, it's as if I have no senses with him. My whole body shuts down, and I actually feel safe. I can finally put my guard down, and breathe for a little while. My eyes meet his, and we just stare at each other.

He is so beautiful, he's so perfect, and I suddenly have a huge urge to just hug him. So that's what I do.

I wrap my arms around his waist, he feels so incredible. It only takes a few seconds for him to do the same.

I understand that I barely know the guy, and our circumstances, oh I understand that very well. Yet I can't deny what I am feeling for Dixon. This feeling is incredible, just hugging him makes me feel as if it's just him and me against the world.

I suddenly forget about the games, that he might be deathly sick, and I just enjoy the moment. His body is so comfortable and warm. That's what he is warm.

Suddenly our moment of perfect silence is over, and my guard just comes back. The voices are coming behind the door that separate the rooms from the rest of the train.

I pull away, but he pulls me right back in his embrace. He gently picks me up just a few inches off the floor, walks into my room, shuts the door with his foot and puts me back down on the floor. The funny thing is that I didn't question any of it.

He lets go after a few seconds, walks around the room then sits on the bed. A part of me, is saying to tell him to get out of my room. But I can't do that anymore.

"Cashmere Mercer" he says, his face made up of a huge grin.

"That's my name" I say, "don't wear it out"

Why am I acting this way! I never act this way with guys. Only Gloss, but I don't flirt with Gloss, eww no. I think I am flirting with him, but I am not sure if I really even know what flirting is. I am innocent, extremely innocent. I have spent my whole life hiding behind Gloss. As soon as my mom died, and Dean won his Games I started training. My whole entire life revolved around training, and it still should. I should be discussing my strategy, not falling for a silly boy.

I notice that he is smiling even wider then he was before. I didn't even think that was humanly possible to have a smile that wide.

"Oh Cashmere" he smile fades a bit "that is a beautiful name"

"Thank you" I say softly, I almost whisper it, it's that quiet.

"I just wanted to tell you something"

"What is it?" I ask. My voice totally changes, it's no longer shy. It's curious. I am curious, why did he even come over, why did he hug me? Is he feeling the same way as I am?

No, he is smarter than I am, he knows that in about a month one of us will be dead. I know very little about Dixon Fanly, other than the fact that the girls from School loved him. All of them did, he never paid much attention to them but they did anyway. I don't blame them, he is beautiful. He is possibly the most beautiful human being I have ever seen.

I notice that I am staring at him. It would be creepy if I was the only one staring, but I am not.

My eyes stay concentrated on his face as I walk over and sit right next to him, I sit at the top of the bed while he is sitting at the end.

I can handle myself if we are this far apart, I won't make try to kiss him or anything like that if I am this far. Then suddenly he ruins my plan and scoots a little closer to me. Just a little bit.

"Well" he says, then he moves just a tad closer,

"Can I" he moves just a little closer.

"Tell you" a little closer once again.

"Tonight in" know he is so close that his leg is touching mine.

"The Capital" he says.

What no, we can't even be seen in the capital together, they can't know that I care for him, and trust me they will know. I know that I will make it obvious, I am bad at hiding things. That trait went to Gloss, oh just the thought of Gloss makes me miss him even more then I do.

"Yes" I say, who knew how hard it was to say one word, I sure didn't.

"Sounds good, so are you ready? still need me to zip up your dress?"

I stare at him, too nervous to speak and nod my head yes. I stand up, turn around and he zips it up. One hand on my shoulder and the other on the zip. His touch makes my whole insides twist around, it's a weird feeling. I am falling apart inside with just his touch, yet I feel like I'm on top of the world with him next to me.

"I'm ready" I say, I'm relieved that I am finally able to speak.

"Yeah?"

"Do I not look ready?" I ask, I am so nervous but I still manage to speak.

"You look" he pauses "like art"

"Umm is that good"

"It's fantastic" he smiles and leads me to the door. He opens the door behind me, and we walk towards the living area, when suddenly he stops and leans his arm towards a wall and pauses.

"Dixon are you okay?" I ask, I am suddenly so worried. There is something wrong with him, I can't help but wonder if that is what he is going to tell me tonight.

"I am okay, just get my nurse" he says

"If you need a nurse then you're not okay" I blurt out. I can't help it, if he was sick he shouldn't be here. This is not a place you can be weak.

I run through the door and I'm screaming, "Its Dixon, he needs help" you can hear the panic in my voice.

His nurse runs to the hall way, I go to follow her, but Opal stops me and tells me to sit. Not even thinking about it I just sit, Dean and Opal find that surprising and look at each other with a weird expression on their faces. I would usually disobey them, not because I care but because I am curious. I care for Dixon though, I want to give him his space.

I look at them and say "what?" they just roll their eyes. I am sure that they suspect something, and I'm sure I will get a lecture about it later on. "Cashmere you can't like this guy, he is going to die" I will just nod and then I will just like Dixon even more. Although that has never happened, that is how it will go, I just feel it.

Dixon finally walks in and he seems even better than he was when he was in my room. It was a shot, what is it that he has that makes him react like he does?

"So I have an idea of how we should be presented to the capital" he has a huge smile and his face and seems quite excited.

"The stylist take care of that" Opal says. She seems uninterested and annoyed already. Opal has no humor and is always the one who likes to stick to the rules.

"I want to hear it" says Dean, he is the exact opposite.

"They need to present us like the present art, classic yet beautiful"

This catches everyone's attention, even mine.

"Continue" Opal sounds interested in something for once.

"Instead of trying to hide our natural beauty, they need to let it escape. They always hide the beauty of the tributes, especially District 1, with making them wear feathers and crazy things like that. We represent Luxury, well why don't they present us as Diamonds. They are Classy and beautiful, yet simple. They don't need anything added on to them. They are beautiful as is."

"That" Dean pauses, "Is great"

Suddenly everything turns dark, we have entered a tunnel. When the light returns, we all notice that we have finally arrived in the Capital. Dixon walks over towards me and sits right next to me on the table, he grabs my hand from under the table.

He leans over and whispers "it's going to be okay."

In that second I finally realize that it will be.


End file.
